Comportar-se como um animal ao volante é tão português como o fado e o chibanço. Ter ministros a 200 km/h na A1 sem pagar multa, comprar um Audi em 2ª mão, meter um aileron Matias na oficina do bairro e testar o bólide na ponte Vasco da Gama é português. E dizer mal dos outros também. E viva o blogue :)



sexta-feira, 16 de março de 2007

Os autocolantes "Bebé a bordo".



Bebé a bordo: o mistério desvendado!


Antes que o leitor comece com um "lá está este gajo a dizer mal de tudo, fosga-se", deixem-me dizer que, tal como plantar uma àrvore e aparecer na capa do 24 horas, um dos meus sonhos da vida é ter um filho. E compreendo perfeitamente todos os pais babados, que trocam o descapotável vermelho engata-fêmeas pelo monovolume espaçoso com a cadeirinha Chicco de última geração e leitor DVD para rolar o Noddy; eu, qualquer dia, serei um deles.

Aha, já prendi a sua atenção: que raio é que eu quero com esta posta? Já todos sabemos que um autocolante "Cuidado, bebé a bordo" está no primeiro lugar do top há anos... nem consegue ser ameaçado pelo autocolante da Kadoc ou da Penélope... já todos nós vimos um carro com tal adorno. Mas a pergunta que se faz é: Porquê ter MAIS cuidado com tais carros? A nossa reportagem (isto é, eu) foi investigar, e, realmente, é perfeitamente justificado o uso de tais distintivos. Deviam, inclusivé, ser obrigatórios no Código da Estrada. Passo a explicar:

1) Há, nos dias de hoje, muitos filhos hiper-activos que o cinto de segurança não consegue mantê-los quietos. Enquanto eles abrem a janela, arranham os estofos, fazem caretas e puxam os cabelos, o coitado do pai é forçado por vezes, entre o pára-arranca, a virar-se para trás e a tentar acertar no chavalo com uma ou duas lambadas, a ver se pára quieto. Enquanto não consegue acertar na bochecha do diabinho, há sempre a possibilidade de o carro guinar inadvertidamente, pelo que há que tomar sempre o devido cuidado.

2) Há também aqueles miúdos com os pulmões e o diafragma já completamente desenvolvidos, e que fazem mais berraria do que um matadouro de porcos. Claro que, passados um quarto de hora, a eficiência da audição do condutor já foi seriamente reduzida, pelo que é completamente inútil buzinar. Como tal, este distintivo é muito útil, podia era ser até complementado: "Cuidado, bebé a bordo. Não buzines, que não te ouço!"

3) Ao final do dia, depois de ouvir um ralhete do chefe, falhar os objectivos da empresa, entornar o café na camisa, pegar no carro e circular pelo pára-arranca até à creche ou escola, ouvir uma descascada sobre o filho que não faz a redação e que estragou a boneca à colega, para de seguida ir para casa jantar e dormir para outro dia igual. É melhor não incomodar, pode ser que seja uma daquelas pessoas que têm três armas, uma na mala do carro e duas no banco de trás.

143 comentários:

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também podia criar um a dizer azelha ao volante!

e coisas do género, é quase como aquela caracterização q queriam pôr nos carros pr quem tem carta nos 3 primeiros anos!
ainda por cima amarela!

palhaços!

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Excelente post.

Muito bem visto, ou não fosse eu um pai babado... mas sem "tocolante".

Esteve muito bem com este post, parabéns.

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